Honoring Your Gifts and Talents: The First Step to Loving Yourself

Loving yourself is a hot topic these days, Why? Because it's powerful. It's the first step to loving others. It's the only way to truly be content in life. Success in our jobs and relationships depends on it.

But, what does it mean to love yourself? Some of us have so much bad that's been piled on us from broken childhoods, toxic marriages, demeaning work experiences, and a host of other damaging encounters, that the concept of loving one's self seems crazy!

Greedy people suck, literally

First of all, let's say what loving one's self is not. It's not about putting yourself and your needs above and at the expense of another. That isn't love. That's selfishness. Taking time and expending effort to build personal resources is honorable and healthy. Sucking the life out of others and taking from them is most assuredly not loving of them or one's self. Having an unhealthy greedy attitude with money, attention, power, or any other resource comes from a sense of neediness.

The martyr gives it all away

Playing the sacrificial lamb is not self love. Giving away your dreams, position, opinions or any other personal expression is denying yourself of joy and accomplishment. You wouldn't do this to your best friend or someone you cherish. Why would you think to do this to yourself? Never give your life force away without giving to yourself at the same time.

Loving your gifts and talents

If you have difficulties with loving yourself, how about starting with finding your gifts and talents? Loving yourself, right this very moment, means celebrating the very essence of who you are. The God-created spirit who moves on the earth, who has been formed with gifts and talents built into your very DNA. It's pretty amazing when we think about it; we have ideas, inspirations, dreams, and adventures embedded in us. They are unique, too! Every single one of us has something to offer mankind that only we can deliver.

How does that translate to loving yourself?

When you have an innovative approach to how you or your employer does work, finding a way to honor that is loving yourself. When you speak your truth about a subject you know well, you love yourself. When you celebrate your ability to delegate, organize, inspire, envision, nurture or create, you love yourself. Hopefully, you get the picture here–honoring your uniqueness, acknowledging your gifts and talents, all equate to loving yourself.

Your superpower is probably right in front of you

I have found the things that come easily to us, I mean so easily that you don't notice, are our superpowers. For me it's being organized. I can whip a mess into shape without a whole lot of effort or emotional exhaustion. Being organized is almost effortless for me. I'm not bragging, it's just my thing. However, what costs me is having to swim in details. I can do it, but I have to spend a lot of energy to stay there. Detailed work is not my superpower.

What that means is I can acknowledge and honor my strength. I can be grateful for this ability. And, rather than being critical of someone who is challenged with order, I extend myself and my superpower as a gift. In the other direction, knowing that extensive detailed work is draining for me, rather beating myself up for not being a master of all things, I can lean on another who thrives here. This is loving one's self, as well as honoring others.

What if you don't know those good things

Some of us have been so busy with our noses to the grindstone doing the job or taking care of others, that we have lost the connection to who we are, what our gifts and talents are, and how to live our purpose. You might say that you don't have time for all of this esoteric, touchy-feely stuff. Okay. But, what if I told you by getting to know and love your core self you'd be a more productive business owner/parent/spouse, that you would have more energy, and people would respond to you differently, you probably would take the time, wouldn't you?

Most of us don't do this kind of work well on our own. Some of you think you do, however our blind spots, hurts, and beliefs almost always get in our way. I suggest that you invest in yourself by taking some time with a counselor, coach or consultant. These are professionals trained to help you mine the nuggets of gold deep inside of you. Once you know and own those nuggets, you can begin to love your gifts and talents. That is an excellent start to loving one's self, don't you think?